Hello, and welcome to the Final Round of Mammoth’s Battle of the Species! I’m Your Host, Small Brain! Tonight’s winner will get to live! Now here’s the kicker, folks- whoever loses has their entire race exterminated! But no pressure!
In this corner- Big Jaw! The cream of the rock as far as Neanderthals, he has big hands, big feet, and an even bigger brain! His opponent is Cro-Guy, some random dude that showed up when all the rest of the ‘Magnons fainted at the sight of good old Big Jaw!
Good luck, men! …kind of men! (Cro-Guy, you’re gonna need it. Look at those hands! God!) The bell has rung! Round One begins.
Big Jaw comes in swinging, catching Cro-Guy right smack on the chin. Ooh! He goes flying across the arena. That has got to hurt! Big Jaw is wailing on the poor excuse for monkey-spawn, and the crowd is going wild! Literally! Bodies are flying everywhere!
Big Jaw gears up for the final blow when Cro-Guy stands up. He’s still alive??? Damn, that’s one thick skull! Big Jaw laughs at the inferior Cro-Guy, watching his pitiful attempts to fight back, when… Oh my god. Cro-Guy is… Ooh! Ouch! Cro-Guy has kicked Big Jaw straight in the gonads! Big Jaw goes down like a sack of potatoes. His jaw is dropped! The Big One has been dropped by a girl! ….erm, girly man.
1, 2, 3- that’s the count. Cro-Guy has triumphed! Little over big! David over Goliath! Whoever they are… The Cro-Magnons have won the ultimate title- living! And the WWC (World Wide Cavefight) title! Which means nothing now that there will be no one to fight! Wait…I’m out of a job!
Goodnight folks. Hopefully you aren’t Neanderthals, because if you are…sucks for you!
In this corner- Big Jaw! The cream of the rock as far as Neanderthals, he has big hands, big feet, and an even bigger brain! His opponent is Cro-Guy, some random dude that showed up when all the rest of the ‘Magnons fainted at the sight of good old Big Jaw!
Good luck, men! …kind of men! (Cro-Guy, you’re gonna need it. Look at those hands! God!) The bell has rung! Round One begins.
Big Jaw comes in swinging, catching Cro-Guy right smack on the chin. Ooh! He goes flying across the arena. That has got to hurt! Big Jaw is wailing on the poor excuse for monkey-spawn, and the crowd is going wild! Literally! Bodies are flying everywhere!
Big Jaw gears up for the final blow when Cro-Guy stands up. He’s still alive??? Damn, that’s one thick skull! Big Jaw laughs at the inferior Cro-Guy, watching his pitiful attempts to fight back, when… Oh my god. Cro-Guy is… Ooh! Ouch! Cro-Guy has kicked Big Jaw straight in the gonads! Big Jaw goes down like a sack of potatoes. His jaw is dropped! The Big One has been dropped by a girl! ….erm, girly man.
1, 2, 3- that’s the count. Cro-Guy has triumphed! Little over big! David over Goliath! Whoever they are… The Cro-Magnons have won the ultimate title- living! And the WWC (World Wide Cavefight) title! Which means nothing now that there will be no one to fight! Wait…I’m out of a job!
Goodnight folks. Hopefully you aren’t Neanderthals, because if you are…sucks for you!
1 comment:
hey, cool story. And that was funny: __ people who love me. It looks good when there are 23, but with only 1, well, lets just say it isn't too much to be proud of.
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