Delilah was seven years old when she was diagnosed with dyslexia. Her mother didn’t know what to make of it- everything her little girl saw was, well, backwards. Delilah was otherwise fine, eating and talking and laughing like any other child would do. But her one flaw was the thing that Delilah’s parents saw, and so the day before Delilah’s ninth birthday, her father took her an asylum, hoping they could fix her “affliction”.
This is Delilah’s story.
Daddy doesn’t look very happy. He says we are going somewhere special. I wonder if he got me the puppy I asked for. I’ve already figured out what I will name my new puppy- Bella if it’s a girl, Bob if it’s a boy.
Daddy tells me to get in the car, but he says it really mean. I don’t want Daddy to get angry, so I hurry.
We’ve been driving for a long time. This place must be really special! I try to be happy, but my stomach hurts. I’m hungry! I ask Dad if we can stop for something to eat. He stares at me the way Mom does when I try to read. Dad says we can’t stop. Why?
Smack! The door shuts. I must have fallen asleep, because I think we’re here. Daddy opens my door, and tells me to get out. I step out of the car, and Dad hands me my backpack. Why did he bring that? A tall man in a white coat comes from the big building we are standing in front of. He starts talking to my dad. Where are we? I strain to see the sign in the dark, but then I stop. I can’t read it anyway. I wish I wasn’t so different! Why am I-
“Delilah?” The man in the white coat speaks to me. He has a low voice that cracks a little bit. “Say goodbye to your dad now. We’re going to go inside.” He smiles, but it isn’t a nice kind of smile. My third grade teacher used to smile at me like that- like I wasn’t a “someone”, I was a “something”. I don’t want to go with the creepy man in the big coat. Daddy comes up and pats me on the shoulder. I go to hug him, but he shies away. What is wrong with me? The man tells me his name is Dr. Sharp. I start to cry. All of a sudden, two people pick me up and take me inside. I just want to go home.
It’s my birthday today!
I will be twenty-three.
Ms. Day brings in my food as usual, but it feels different compared to all the other days. I greet her as usual, taking my oatmeal. But today the gag reflex comes easier to me. Like I said it is a special day.
Dr. Sharp comes in for our monthly check-up, and tells me that he has some news. I hate news. Last time the doctor had news, I was being moved into a different part of the asylum. They said I was endangering the patients, and I needed to better serve my home. I was telling them a bedtime story! And this is not my home. And it isn’t a hospital, either. At hospitals they take care of you. They actually care whether you can sleep at night, or whether you have enough blankets, they care period. Not here. This is no hospital or home or anything even remotely good.
Dr. Sharp tells me that my father and mother died in a car accident. He says he is sorry, and gets up and leaves.
Oh my god.
They’re dead.
And I realize that no one cares. No one comes and says they are sorry for my loss. The loss of two people who probably never cared about me, about anything but themselves. Two people who I loved unconditionally until the day they gave me up just so they wouldn’t have to bear having a different child.
I cry. But not for my parents. I cry for the people like me. Because we still are people. And we always will be.
My birthday was yesterday. No one but me knew. No one but me cared. And so, no one but me will know that I didn’t die today. I was already dead inside.
Delilah died on April 13th. She was twenty-three. She was also patient #376. And now all that is left of Delilah is in a can in a lonely library with the label ripped off. Because more than anything, Delilah hated to be labeled.